Welcome to the Land of Many Questions

A passage in Ephesians caught my attention recently. Paul wrote in Ephesians 1:18 that he “prayed that the eyes of our hearts would be enlightened to the hope of which He has called us, the riches of the glorious inheritance in the saints.” This passage is one I’ve frequently read and even underlined as a scripture of relevance to my walk yet it has sudden and intimate urgency to me today.


            After a long and frustrating summer which never seemed to arrive, I found myself in a place of many questions. I’m talking about that place where nothing feels right and the instinct to run instead of stand and fight is almost overwhelming.  Being that my nature is mostly up and encouraged, this has been strange territory.


            Since I was a child I have been taught about the walk of faith verses living by a feeling.  I’d love to claim victory in this but my personal reality is I really love when God keeps all my ducks in a row and the waters of my life calmly flowing in one direction.  The land of many questions is most certainly not that.


            It has always been my personal experience that when my soul is being bombarded by questions that God is usually trying to get me to answer just one.  In this case it came down to a perplexing question….why are you doing this?


            By this I mean I had to peel back the layers of my motives and find that along the way I’ve not always had the best ones.  As much as you may want to keep your motives pure I am realizing that a personal inventory of your soul can not be attempted randomly, but it must be frequent and intense.  It must also be done under the direction of the Holy Spirit or Paul’s words in Ephesians will be another empty promise.


            Paul said that God wants us to be “enlightened to the hope of which He has called us”.  I have found that this hope can be extinguished when we become man pleasers instead of being consumed by the Holy Spirit. This hope is the hope that keeps the light on during our darkest moments.  This hope gives strength to the weary.  It turns the land of questions into the land of knowledge.  The knowledge that every soul needs a Savior and that Savior can and will strip you down to your core so that all that is left is you and Him.


            It isn’t really that complicated…so I pray today, Holy One, call me back from the edge whenever I forget, and keep my heart enlightened to the hope…